I read ten books on prayer (so that you don’t have to) and gained three powerful insights.
This journey started about a year ago, when the phrase “Explode your prayer life!” randomly popped into my head. My initial response was that it doesn’t even make sense. Explode, like, destroy my prayer life? Should I stop praying? I shook it off and went about the rest of my day.
But the thought would not stay shaken. And after a bit of time pondering and, of course, praying, I realized this was an invitation from God to take off the life vest and arm floaties and go deeper into the waters of prayer. Gulp. I was a little intimidated by this prompting. I thought I had a decent prayer life and was content with it. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to commit such a large chunk of my already-limited time to this endeavor.
Despite some of my hesitancy, though, I knew I was open to change. I wanted an intimate relationship with Jesus, prayers answered, and a rich spiritual life that inspires others. How would I get there?
I remembered hearing that if you read ten books on any subject, you become an expert in that topic, so that became my entry point. I went on Google and searched “books on prayer,” and oh boy, there are a lot of results (so many so that my current Goodreads “want to read” list can now fill up a small public library). Eventually, though, I chose a diverse selection of books on prayer based on date written, country of origin, denomination, and specific topic in prayer. Here is the list, in no particular order:
- Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools by Tyler Staton
- Beholding Deepening Our Experience in God by Strahan Coleman
- What If Jesus Was Serious About Prayer? by Jethani Skye
- The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence
- Praying the Rosary Like Never Before by Edward Sri
- The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen
- Pray In The Spirit by Arthur Wallis
- Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
- Raising Prayerful Kids by Stephanie Thurling & Sarah Holmstrom
- Praying Successfully by Charles Spurgeon
After finalizing my list, however, I realized it was one thing to read and a whole other thing to actually put the book’s ideas into practice. So part two of my plan was to pray more…a lot more.
I began to actively place myself in contexts that required me to pray more. I joined the weekend prayer team at my church, volunteered in a prayer tent at a camp retreat, took classes on prayer, and volunteered to pray anytime someone asked for prayer in any situation (I work at said church that I attend, so it happens a lot).
So, after a year and a half of reading, practicing, and well, praying, I’ve come across three common themes and practices that I believe can help anyone get their prayer life out of the kiddie pool and down the giant funnel slide (that’s where explosions happen, right?).
Prayer is a Relationship
Jesus wants to hear from us. He also wants us to hear from him.
It’s easy to think of prayer as just another thing on our list of to-dos for the day. But prayer is a conversation with a God who loves you; it allows us to talk to the Creator of you and me about anything and everything. This is how any relationship grows.
As I started to dig deep into my prayer journey, I found that my typical posture in prayer was quantity-focused. I felt like I needed to pray for a long time for it to count and for God to listen (it’s a trend as old as time); I even started to add filler sentences just to rack up extra minutes. Then I would say “amen” and go back to my phone, meal, or whatever else I seemingly wanted to be doing more. I left no room to listen to see if God had something to say, or if I did, it would be for only a few seconds.
I learned in my reading and prayer time that it’s not about how much I’m saying in prayer (my prayers can be short!), it’s about creating a space for God and me to be together and listen to one another. Imagine a friendship where one person never lets the other speak—wouldn’t work out long term or be a very lifegiving relationship, would it?
So I started being brief in my prayers—not because God doesn’t want to hear my long ramblings, he does—but so that I could give him time to respond to the individual things I’m saying. I’d say something, then I would wait, and wait some more, and then, after it felt a little awkward, I would ask Jesus, “Is there anything you want to tell me?” Periodically, I would hear some form of an answer; other times, it would be silence. But the more I practiced speaking and then pausing to listen, the more I would hear from God (which can be confusing sometimes, and that’s OK). Every now and then, Jesus would point me to a specific passage in Scripture, and other times, I would catch things from him like “Yes” or “No.”
As I began to pray more intentionally and listen more closely, I heard God’s responses more clearly. This took time and a lot of patience, but what healthy relationship doesn’t require these things? If you carve out the time, make your prayer brief, and then wait, you might be surprised by how God shows up.
I think professor and theologian Henri Nouwen best articulated it in his book, The Way of the Heart: “For many of us, prayer means nothing more than speaking with God. And since it usually seems to be a quite one-sided affair, prayer simply means talking to God. This idea is enough to create frustration. If I present a problem, I expect a solution; if I formulate a question, I expect an answer; if I ask for guidance, I expect a response. And when it seems, increasingly, that I am talking into the dark, it is not so strange that I soon begin to suspect that my dialogue with God is in fact a monologue. Then I may begin to ask myself: am I really speaking, God or myself? The crisis of our prayer life is that our mind may be filled with ideas of God while our heart remains far from him.”
Know Your Scripture
All ten books on prayer I read emphasized the importance of knowing the Bible. Initially, I dreaded this part of my journey—not because I dislike the Bible, but because memorizing Scripture can be intimidating, and reminded me of taking tests in school (and I could never remember the capital of South Dakota or when the Huns invaded Rome).
Regardless of these challenges, I learned that reading scripture, learning its stories, and internalizing its teachings is one of the most powerful tools we have in prayer. The Bible equips us to learn God’s voice, pray according to his will, and combat the lies the enemy will tell us.
Whenever we question whether the voice we hear is truly God or our imagination, Scripture provides clarity. If we hear a word or voice and wonder if it could be God or Satan, we can test it against the Bible. If Scripture can affirm the words we hear, there’s a good chance it’s God. And the more we know verses and passages off the top of our heads, the quicker we can make this distinction.
Scripture also teaches us to pray within God’s will, empowering us to pray confidently and authoritatively. Rather than requesting healing with uncertainty with phrases like, “Lord, heal this person…ya know, if it is your will,” knowing scripture helps us to pray boldly, assured of God’s intentions and promises.
For example, we know God’s will is for us to pray for healing over the sick because he instructed his disciples to do it Matthew 10:8. We know God’s will is to comfort those who are going through an incredibly difficult season of life because Psalm 147:3 talks about how he “…heals the brokenhearted…” And we know it is God’s will to bless us as the Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 4:19. When we pray for ourselves or others, we know God wants to do these things for us. Sometimes it just takes us to ask for it and know he has the power and ability to deliver on his promise. Maybe God will say ‘yes’, maybe he will say ‘no’, maybe he will say ‘not yet’, but we won’t know unless we ask.
Did you know Jesus had Scripture memorized? And He didn’t just keep its words in his brain—he prayed them. While on the cross, He prays Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Pastor and theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote of the importance of praying the words of Scripture in his book Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible: “We pray this Psalm (22), not on the basis of our fortuitous personal suffering, but on the basis of the suffering of Christ which has also come upon us. But we always hear Jesus Christ pray with us, and through him that Old Testament king: and repeating this prayer without being able to experience it or consider it in its deepest sense, we nevertheless walk with the praying Christ before the throne of God.”
This is an area I’m still growing in. I’ve gotten a little more structured reading plan of the Bible that changes as my interests change, and this way, what I’m reading matches the interest I’m pursuing. I’ve also downloaded a Bible Verse memorization app. I’m still slow to learn, but I’m putting the work in. And I’ve seen bigger mountains move in my prayer life and seen more healing than ever by praying with all the powerful words and wisdom that come from the Bible.
Prayer is a Lifestyle
One final thing became abundantly clear to me through all those found explosive prayer lives: their daily commitment to prayer wasn’t just another religious tradition to complete but was as essential as breathing for them.
Almost every one of the books I read referenced The Practice of the Presence of God, whose author, Brother Lawrence, was a 17th-century monk from France. Outside of the Bible, in my research, this book is clearly the most influential to those with a rich prayer life.
Here is an excerpt from the Frenchman’s work that I believe encapsulates his whole philosophy on a life of prayer: “We must try to converse with God in little ways while we do our work; not in memorized prayer, not trying to recite previously formed thoughts. Rather, we should purely and simply reveal our hearts as the words come to us.”
Brother Lawrence wasn’t listed as an amazing theologian during his day. He was ‘merely’ the dishwasher at the monastery where he worked—about as everyman as you could get, like me. And that reality gives me hope that attaining some faux elite status of Christiandom isn’t the path to a prayer life—it’s a commitment to disciplines and practices.
As the Apostle Paul put it, we ought to “Pray without ceasing.” And I don’t think he means we ought to spend 12 hours a day sitting in our special chair, with a candle lit, and a prayer journal in hand. It’s about in all things—pray. Pray over the work that you’re doing at your job that it would glorify God, pray for the ambulance you see drive by for healing and peace, pray with gratitude for a beautiful walk on a busy day, and pray for community and friendship when you are lonely.
As we teach our minds to respond with prayer in every situation, it becomes second nature and allows us to see and hear God in new and wonderful ways. My days are now filled with little glimpses of heaven and hope as I find myself more connected to God in the practice of praying whenever it comes to mind.
The ‘Prince of Preachers’ himself, Charles Spurgeon, nailed it on the head when he wrote, “Wherever you work, you can pray. Wherever you lie sick, you can pray. There is no place to which you can be banished where God is not near, and there is no time of day or night when his throne is inaccessible.”
A Beautiful Letdown
After 457 days, I found myself at the end of the journey of reading ten books on prayer. Did I complete my task of exploding my prayer life?
Ehhhh…
At first, I was a bit disappointed. I thought I checked the right boxes—I did the required reading, listened to the podcasts, took the classes, and even prayed a lot! But I wasn’t feeling the supernatural vigor to get down on my knees in prayer every 30 seconds like I thought I would. Was I supposed to read 10,000 books instead of ten? After my letdown subsided, though, I learned perhaps the most crucial piece to all of this:
Exploding my prayer life is more of a daily practice than it is a final destination.
As much as I would love to have reached some self-constructed pinnacle of prayer that not even Mother Teresa could have touched, I was humbled to realize that there is no A-team of prayer, no shiny sticker prize, no double rainbow in the sky (and definitely no pot of gold). The point of getting “better” at prayer is so I can partake in God’s will for us, as Jesus expresses in a prayer during the Last Supper:
“And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent”. (John 17:3).
Knowing God more every day is my objective in all of this. He is still calling me to swim further and further into deeper waters where my toes can’t touch the bottom. The things I discussed in this article are only the first page of the introduction to the longer prayer story I’ve experienced. Still, I believe these are three core tenets that move you from a passive prayer life into an active life of prayer, and at the end of the day, knowing God more.
That said, the only fitting way to end this, I believe, is a prayer.
Father, thank you for today and all of its many blessings. Give us fresh eyes, fresh ears, and a fresh mind to witness the work you are doing in our lives. Continue to draw us into deeper waters so that we will rely on you and not on ourselves. I ask that everyone who reads this article seeking to know you more receive double what they expected. Amen.
Disclaimer: This article is 100% human-generated.
(A fun side note—Brother Lawrence didn’t even publish that book. Some people found these letters he was sending to a friend well after he had passed, and thought DANG, this is good stuff, people should read it!)
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