Don't Grow Alone | How Growth Happens in The Messiness of Relationship

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- Well, hey, welcome to Crossroads.

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We are a community of people

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running after Jesus all over the world.

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And so wherever you're watching from today,

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hey, we just want to honor the people who,

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well, we wouldn't exist without.

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So, moms, happy Mother's Day.

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Somehow, one day a year just doesn't seem like

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anywhere near enough considering that you gave us life.

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But today we celebrate all the moms, the grandmas,

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the foster moms, the spiritual moms,

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those who hope to be moms one day,

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and the women in general who carry so much

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for the people around them that they love.

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We love you. We're grateful for you. Happy Mothers Day.

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[music: Blackbird, The Beatles]

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- Welcome to Crossroads and happy Mother's Day

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to all the lovely mothers who are here.

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Come on, give it up for our moms.

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We're so appreciative of you

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and we're so glad you're here.

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And we're sorry that we either made you cry

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or triggered you just now with that video.

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But we love you, and we wanted to do something

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special today to honor you.

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In fact, we have some women on our team

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who we told to take the weekend off from singing

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and worshiping so they can rest and relax.

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And so you're going to be led by me and my brothers today.

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So why don't you stand on your feet.

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We might be small in number,

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but still praise will be mighty today.

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Because praise is the way that we express gratitude to God.

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So it's not about being pretty.

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It's just about being loud.

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So let's sing and worship the Lord in a fresh way today.

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Let's do it right now. Come on. Hey!

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- Hey! Come on. Here we go.

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- Y'all sound so good out there. That's so good.

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Hey, these next words we're going to sing

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come from the mouth of Jesus, Matthew 7, that recording says:

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Everyone then who hears these words of mine

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and does them will be like a wise man

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who built his house on the rock.

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And the rain fell, and the floods came,

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and the winds blew and beat upon that house.

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But it did not fall because it had been founded on the rock.

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When we hear the voices around us,

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we're hearing stories around us of people

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who have had wind blow and rains come

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and things beat on this house.

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But we've set our eyes on Jesus and said,

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"We will be founded on the Rock,

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that He's made strong in our weakness."

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So we sing our stories, not pretty.

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We sing our stories loud together like this.

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- Come on, sing this together.

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- There's something beautiful in this room wings,

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whether there's hands in the air,

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hands coming out of your pocket,

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or just a heart opening up,

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or your, your voice just getting louder.

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And we gotta use our eyes and ears when we sing together

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and remind ourselves that we're not alone.

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We may not agree on everything,

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but we showed up saying, "Jesus, I set my eyes on You."

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I found freedom in releasing my inhibitions

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and holding nothing back and saying,

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let me encourage you if you need encouragement today.

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Both hands in the air because He's rescued me.

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- Come on, give Him praise. Yeah.

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Let me pray for us, Lord, every voice in that,

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every hand in the air is a choice

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to give You praise and glory, to lay ourselves down

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because You've been so good.

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Every voice lifted. There's a story there.

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And we don't just sing our story.

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We sing Your story and come back to Your story

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week in, week out, reminding ourselves of Your goodness,

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Your faithfulness, and Your strength

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and Your presence with us.

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Thank you, God, for being exactly who You are.

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We praise You and glorify You,

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lift You high above all things

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and above my name and above anyone else.

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We love You, Lord. I love You and I thank You.

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Pray all this because of You, Jesus. Amen. Amen.

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That was fun. Hey, I just want to say,

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if it's your first time here, you're in the right place.

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What you just saw is people choosing to say,

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"I want to point myself towards Jesus."

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We don't get it right all the time,

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but man, we found life in Him

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and we're excited that you're here today

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and hope you find the same thing in Him.

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Right now, why don't you turn to somebody next to you

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and say, "Hey, you ever thought about The Voice?

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You sounded great." I mean, he's kind of great.

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- Man, there is so much to celebrate this weekend, man.

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I love those songs.

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And hey, one thing that just feels especially fitting

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on Mother's Day weekend is to talk about

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our Ignite Conference, because so many women

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spend so much of their lives helping everyone else

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feel seen, feel cared for, feel encouraged,

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fed, connected, and frankly, up to speed

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on where their shoes are like.

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But somewhere between so many of those responsibilities

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and routines, it's easy to lose sight

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of what God has uniquely put inside of you.

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That's what Ignite is all about.

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It's a one day conference designed to help women

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reconnect with who God made them to be,

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and the light and the fire in the spark

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that He has in them and what He's calling them to next.

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It's happening at Crossroads Eastside.

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You're going to hear from some amazing speakers,

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like Alli Patterson and Annie F. Downs,

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who will encourage you, challenge you,

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and help you move forward.

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So this is the time, to grab your friends,

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your mom, your daughter, your small group,

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even that friend and that one group chat

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with 47 unread messages.

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Hey, do it and make a day of it.

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You get all the details at crossroads.net/ignite.

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So hey, parents, man, summer is coming fast.

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It is like it has this way of sneaking up on us.

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One minute you're thinking, "Hey,

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I should probably come up with a plan."

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And the next minute, this was literally me this weekend,

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arguing with my kids about, "Wait, wait,

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there can't possibly only be nine days of school left."

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So hey, right now it is time to put something great

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on your student summer calendar.

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Crossroads Student Camp. It's an unforgettable week.

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We take over Bowling Green State University

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with great friends, fun night, worship,

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and these moments where God shows up in ways

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that stick around with them all year long.

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Last year we had 127 kids get baptized.

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It's going to be amazing.

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High School Camp is June 27th, starts on June 27th.

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Middle school camp starts on July 20th.

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My daughter Ella, she's a fifth grader.

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She'll actually be going to that this year.

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I have all the feels about it, a little torn

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about letting it go for the week, but so excited

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for the connection with friends

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and the connection with God that she's going to experience.

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So just a heads up, registration deadlines

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are coming up soon, so don't miss your chance.

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You can get all the info at crossroads.net/camps.

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Don't miss it.

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And finally, everything you see around here

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and so many things that you don't

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that I don't have time to talk about,

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whether it's camps, whether it's care,

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whether it's outreach, whether it's community,

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whether it's Go Day, whether it's our work in prisons,

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whatever, all of it happens because

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regular people choose to live generously.

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I promise there's no like corporate sponsor of Crossroads.

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I kind of wish there were, it would be easier.

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But it's not the way God works.

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He wants regular people to do something faithful

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and just decide, "God, I trust You, and God,

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I want to take a step in trusting You

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with my finances, with my heart."

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And I want you to know if you're doing that,

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your generosity is making a huge difference

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in people's lives.

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We get to see it day in and day out.

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And if this thing that we call the tithe

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is already a part of your rhythm

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or you're ready to take that step, man,

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we actually have something called the Blue Team.

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The Blue Team is self-declared, but it's made up

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of people who practice the spiritual discipline

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of saying, "God, I'm going to give you 10%

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to the local church as an act of worship and of trust."

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And I know that is not a small thing.

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Nobody hears 10% and thinks,

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"Oh, that's like a rounding error, right? That's easy."

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No, it takes faith. It takes trust.

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But for many, many people comes one of

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the most grounding and formative spiritual decisions they make.

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I'm going to hand it off now to Hannah Driskill,

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one of our amazing young leaders and young teachers

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here at Crossroads right now.

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- Happy Mother's Day to all the moms.

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We cannot say it enough.

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I'm Hannah Driskill, so pumped to be with you.

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You see, I brought my band? You see that?

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I tell you, I'm a new mom.

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And so I'm learning a lot of stuff.

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I'm learning a lot of new stuff.

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And I thought, what better way to start off today

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than by sharing with you what I'm learning?

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And one of the things I'm learning is that

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sometimes dollar store candles, they just hit.

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It's one of those days that this day reminds you

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that they smell good. Don't be hating.

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The next thing it reminds me of is that

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I'm still learning.

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And so just when I think I don't know what to do,

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never fear the TikTok moms, they're here.

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And the mom fluencers, listen y'all,

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they know just what to say to make me feel overwhelmed.

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Check it out right here.

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- If you want to be a fun and happy mom,

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here's how you're going to do it. Here's how I do it.

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I consider myself a fun and happy mom.

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- I want to be a fun and happy mom.

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- Way more boring and isolating than in Spain.

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- If your child is crying, they have a reason to cry.

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- Talk about exclusively breastfeeding

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and introducing solid foods at like six plus months.

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- Here's a fun summer activity

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to keep your kids entertained for hours.

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I made this aluminum foil river

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and my kids absolutely loved it.

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- I love that for her.

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- With baby number 2 that I didn't do with my 1st daughter.

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- Welcome to another week of what I meal prep my toddler.

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To start with --

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- How does she have time for this?

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- You want to have smart kids,

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you have to play with smart toys.

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- Main reasons why your child is not listening to you.

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- Right now drowning in guilt and perfectionism?

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- Me, that's me.

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- First thing you would tell her?

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- Take a deep breath. Put your hand on your heart.

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In fact, just breathe in with me.

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- That did not work. Okay.

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So because that didn't work, me and the band thought,

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this is one of my favorite jams.

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This is by the Boyz II Men.

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If there's a mama next to you, or if somebody

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who wants to be a mama's next to you,

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let's just sing this to them right now.

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It's really easy. It's like. - Mama.

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- Look at that. It says, Mama, you know I love you, girl.

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- You know I love you.

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- Looks that Mama in the eye.

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Stop looking at me. Look at the Mama. Come on.

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- I love you, Mama.

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- Mama, you're the queen, girl.

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- Mama, you're the queen of my heart.

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- Y'all better sing. Y'all better sing. Come on.

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- Your love is like tears from the storm.

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Mama. I just want you to know

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loving you is like food to my soul.

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Loving you is like food to my soul.

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- Come on. Give it up. Happy Mother's Day

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to all the mamas who ever wanted to be a mama,

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who's a grieving mama.

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Wherever you're at, Happy Mother's Day.

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Okay, get out of here, I gotta preach.

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Thank you. Love you, man.

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That was just a comical reminder that when

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the world does its best to offer us any type of hope,

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it will always come up short.

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Thankfully, our hope is in Jesus

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and we're going to see that He gives us hope,

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not through things like TikTok, but through

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this unique strategic relationship that we're going

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to talk about today called discipleship.

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Let me pray for us.

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God, thank you so much for Mother's Day.

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A reminder that you gave us an actual picture of formation.

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Lord, would you use my words today to speak

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directly to each and every one of us,

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and to communicate Your love

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and the plans that You have for our life.

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In the name of Jesus. Amen.

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Those moms in that video, I'm poking a little fun at them,

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but the reality is they're good moms.

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The problem is that they just are influencers.

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And so they influence me to the point that I am so overwhelmed.

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But I know I'm not alone in that.

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I know dads, I know other women, I know other men.

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You guys got people barking at you too,

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telling you who to be, telling you how to be,

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trying to yap and tell you what it is

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to be a real woman, a real man.

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Students, I know that you definitely got

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people telling you what to wear, how to dress,

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how to look, what to eat, what to say, who to cancel.

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And it all just becomes too much.

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So in a world where everybody is screaming, "Follow me,"

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Jesus comes along and he gives us

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a different definition of followership,

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one that we're going to unpack today.

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See, God's plan for the kingdom begins with

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this thing called multiplication

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through the spiritual formation of discipleship.

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And I've found this to be true in my own life.

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See, this is my family.

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This is my husband David, and little baby Israel.

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And they keep me busy. They do. They keep me busy.

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So I'm a wife and a mom, and I work here at Crossroads,

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and I got a pretty demanding job.

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And I also want to be a good friend.

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I also try to lead well the things that I'm leading.

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I also volunteer over in our student ministry.

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I also am, I don't know, trying to remember to be

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a human and drink water and work out every now and again.

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There's just a lot on the table

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and there's this tendency, maybe you're like me,

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you want to grab life by the horns and do something with it.

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You want to be on it all the time.

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There's a silly little quote that floats around

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on the internet every now and again,

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and there's not even an author

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because it's just on the internet.

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And it says something silly like, "Hey, just remember

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you have the same hours in a day as Beyonce."

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So if that's true, that means I should be planning

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a secret tour that don't nobody know about.

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I should drop a surprise album, be a great mom,

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be a great friend, look great, smell good.

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And now don't get me wrong, I love my girl Beyonce.

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But the trick is you look at her and you think,

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"Oh, she's doing alone."

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She ain't doing nothing by herself, I mean nothing.

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She's got people.

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And what I have found is the way that

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I don't crumble under the pressure of all

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that I just mentioned is to have people,

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real, genuine people, not just around me to pat me on the back,

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but to challenge me, to grow me.

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And that has specifically happened for me

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through the relationship of discipleship.

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Now, discipleship is kind of a dirty word,

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depending on where you come from

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or where you find yourself today, you might think of

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that word and think about people drinking

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kool aid on islands, maybe people walking around

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in white robes claiming they found

00:32:18

some important cult leader.

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And in reality, that word has been hijacked

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by self-serving people.

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And it's often been under-used or undervalued

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in the church setting.

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But the reality is discipleship is God's idea,

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and it's His plan to multiply and grow His Kingdom.

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It's His way of spreading His love.

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In fact, in the very first part of the Bible,

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in the book of Genesis, one of the things that

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God is telling us, the first commands that He gives us

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is to be fruitful and multiply.

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Now, He's not just talking about, go have a bunch of kids.

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That's not what He's saying,

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because then it wouldn't apply to everyone.

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We get a glimpse of what He's saying

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when Jesus tells us through what we call

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the Great Commission in Matthew 28, it says:

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Go therefore and make disciples of all nations,

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baptizing them in the name of the Father,

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the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

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When we wonder how the church spread

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without a single shred of Wi-Fi, no emails,

00:33:21

text messages, or group MEAMs to invite people

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to the church meeting or large group gathering.

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It did not exist.

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The church spread and multiply

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simply because of discipleship.

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Now, my own story with discipleship

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is not actually a story of triumph.

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This is Flo. Flo was my college friend.

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And I mean, she was amazing.

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Everybody loved Flo.

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People just wanted to be around her.

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She had a personality that you went, wow, you are so kind.

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And I met flow through my church,

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through our campus ministry group,

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where we just would have Bible studies and kind of hang out.

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And that's where Flo was.

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And so time after time, Flo would invite me into her life.

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That's just what she did. She invited people in.

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Maybe to like a girls night

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or to some sort of Bible study that she was hosting even.

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And often, because she was so kind,

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because she truly embodied the love of Jesus,

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I would just be like, "Yeah, no, thank you."

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Often that was my thing. "I'm good. I'm good, Flow."

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And there was a reason that Flo kept doing that

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because I'm like, "Why are you trying to hang out with me?"

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Every now and again, though, I would accept her invitation

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and I would accept because again,

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she was an infectious person and I'd be like,

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"Okay, sure, girl, I'll go to coffee with you, no problem."

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And when we would be at coffee, she would ask me

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things like, "So what's God doing in your life?

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Do you think you're like carrying too much?

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Like maybe you have a lot going on and need to rest a bit."

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And I hated those questions because I was like who are you?

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Who do you think you are?

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And what I realized now is that Flo was actually

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inviting me kindly into a discipleship relationship.

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Now, I kind of wish she would have just said that,

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because of course I would have still said no,

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but at least I would have known.

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At least I would have known that she was trying

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to give me some space for truth and for challenge.

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See, at that time, I was so unwilling to accept

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because I was actually a hot mess.

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You know, taking 20 or more credit hours at any given point.

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She was right to ask about rest,

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because I was working 5 to 6 jobs voluntarily

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to put myself through school and all just trying

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to prove that I could do it on my own.

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See, the reality was, I had a bunch of people

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around me from the 1.5 million clubs I was in,

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but nobody who knew me. Nobody.

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Nobody who truly, genuinely knew the real me.

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And because they didn't, they couldn't love me.

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And Flo was just trying to show love and I couldn't let her.

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See, beginning of my story with discipleship

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is not one of triumph, but thankfully,

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where we see one of the most successful relationships

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with discipleship outside of Jesus and His 12 disciples

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is in the book of 1 Kings, where we meet

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a guy named Elijah

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and his encounter with a guy named Elisha.

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Now, I don't know if God was trying to be funny

00:36:22

by giving them the exact same name,

00:36:24

so we're just going to actually call Elisha Shay Shay

00:36:27

because that's what I would call him.

00:36:28

And otherwise you're going to get confused.

00:36:30

You're not going to know who I'm talking about.

00:36:32

So we got Elijah and then we got Elisha,

00:36:35

or Shay Shay or Shay. Okay?

00:36:37

That's what we're talking about.

00:36:38

Let's go to the Bible, 1 Kings 19 says:

00:36:41

So he departed (Elijah) from there,

00:36:44

and he found Elisha (Shay) the son of Shaphat,

00:36:48

who was plowing with 12 yoke of oxen before hima

00:36:51

and he was with the 12.

00:36:54

Then Elijah passed by him and threw his mantle on him.

00:36:58

And he (Elisha) left the oxen and ran after Elijah

00:37:03

and said, "Please let me kiss my father and mother,

00:37:07

and then I will follow you."

00:37:10

And he said to him, 'Go back again,

00:37:12

for what have I done to you?"

00:37:14

Verse 21: Then he (Elisha) arose and followed Elijah,

00:37:20

and became his servant.

00:37:23

Now we just cherry picked that little moment from the Bible.

00:37:26

And that is what we have to do for our time today,

00:37:28

because we don't have enough time to go all the way there.

00:37:31

But when we cherry pick from the Bible, we miss context.

00:37:34

And context is actually really important

00:37:36

for what just took place.

00:37:39

See, Elijah, the main kind of character in the story,

00:37:42

has just found himself a couple of chapters before

00:37:45

panting because he is quite literally running for his life.

00:37:50

See, he was a prophet and he was a prophet of God.

00:37:52

And people didn't like what prophets had to say.

00:37:55

And so there was somebody actually trying to kill him.

00:37:58

And he finds himself overwhelmed with life,

00:38:01

overwhelmed, running away, telling God,

00:38:04

"I don't even think I want to live anymore."

00:38:06

He's alone and suicidal.

00:38:09

You might not have even known there was

00:38:11

suicidal people in the Bible, but here he is,

00:38:13

one of God's top and he is alone and suicidal.

00:38:17

And just like God, because he is a good father,

00:38:21

he starts to minister to him.

00:38:22

He starts to do some things for him.

00:38:24

The first thing he does is he feeds him

00:38:27

and then he makes him go to sleep

00:38:29

because sometimes you need to rest.

00:38:31

And then he actually reminds him, "Hey, I am God.

00:38:34

I got this thing. I'm under control."

00:38:36

And then the last thing that he does is

00:38:38

he gives Elijah a vision for his life,

00:38:42

and he gives him some next steps.

00:38:44

And those next steps involve Elisha (Shay),

00:38:47

because up until this moment, Elijah has done

00:38:50

most of his ministry all by himself.

00:38:53

He has spent copious amounts of time alone.

00:38:58

And God's vision for him, his next steps

00:39:00

to get him to the next place of growth is people.

00:39:05

No matter who and how you came in here today.

00:39:07

Maybe you came in here out of obligation

00:39:10

because it's Mother's Day.

00:39:11

Or maybe you came out of curiosity,

00:39:14

or maybe you simply came out of ritual.

00:39:17

What God has for you and for me,

00:39:19

His plan for growth for us is people.

00:39:25

And don't just take my word for it.

00:39:26

We got to go to the Bible.

00:39:28

Jesus says, God says in Ephesians 4:13, it notes:

00:39:32

God wants us to grow until we reach unity

00:39:36

in the faith and in the knowledge of God's Son.

00:39:39

Growing and maturity with a stature measured

00:39:42

by Christ's fullness.

00:39:44

Romans 8:29 says: For those He foreknew,

00:39:47

He also predestined

00:39:49

to be conformed to the image of His Son.

00:39:52

What's that trying to say?

00:39:53

That God's growth plan for you and I

00:39:56

is not that we would just grow to become

00:39:58

more successful versions of ourselves.

00:40:00

No, His growth plan for us is that we would grow

00:40:04

to be conformed to looking like Jesus,

00:40:08

more and more like Jesus.

00:40:10

And His plan to get us there is not a self-help book,

00:40:13

it's people.

00:40:16

That is one of the reasons that my relationship with Flo

00:40:19

was unsuccessful, because she was a real person

00:40:23

and she kept inviting me into her life,

00:40:25

and she never gave up, by the way.

00:40:27

She did it till the day she graduated.

00:40:29

She still showed kindness, she still showed love.

00:40:32

But I think Flo was really on to something

00:40:35

because all she did was look up and go, "Who's around me?

00:40:39

Who's around me tat might be ready to go to the next phase?

00:40:42

Who might need a little leadership, a little guidance?

00:40:46

Who might be ready to look more like Jesus?"

00:40:50

Flo might have asked herself who is proximate?

00:40:54

And this is really important because we see

00:40:56

this same idea of proximity pop up

00:40:59

in the story of Elijah and Shay.

00:41:01

The Bible gives us absolutely no indication

00:41:04

that they didn't know one another,

00:41:06

other than God said, "Go find Elisha."

00:41:09

Now, from what we can read in the Scripture,

00:41:11

it doesn't appear that Elijah pulled out his Rolodex

00:41:14

or pulled out his contacts and went,

00:41:15

"Oh, I guess I better find out who Elisha is

00:41:17

and where he lives."

00:41:18

No, he went right to him.

00:41:20

Similarly, Shay is in the farmer's field working,

00:41:23

doing his thing.

00:41:24

He doesn't look up from afar off and go,

00:41:26

"Man, I wonder who that guy is coming towards me."

00:41:29

He knows instantly, "Oh, that's the prophet.

00:41:32

That's that guy."

00:41:33

So there's a proximity for these folks.

00:41:37

Now, and that's important because as much as

00:41:39

I want Michelle Obama to mentor me, and I do.

00:41:42

Michelle, if you are watching, I'm available for coffee.

00:41:45

I am available.

00:41:47

That just ain't gonna happen because she's not near.

00:41:51

Discipleship begins with proximity.

00:41:55

Gotta look up and see who's around.

00:41:58

But proximity is actually not powerful enough

00:42:00

to produce the multiplication that is required,

00:42:04

and that the early followers of Jesus had.

00:42:07

The next thing we see in this story

00:42:10

is this idea of apprenticeship.

00:42:13

That's not a word that we use,

00:42:14

or even an idea that's common anymore.

00:42:16

But at one point, if someone wanted to learn a skill

00:42:20

or a craft, they would apprentice under someone,

00:42:23

which means they would just watch, do what they do,

00:42:25

and act how they acted, until one day

00:42:27

they would take over.

00:42:29

We see that same idea of apprenticeship start here,

00:42:32

and it's very important because it requires

00:42:36

an idea of giving away some of your own authority

00:42:39

and putting it under someone else.

00:42:42

Earlier, I was kind of poking at the TikTok moms,

00:42:44

and again, those are good moms just doing their thing,

00:42:47

trying to get those advertising gains, I get it.

00:42:50

They're doing their thing.

00:42:51

But the reason that I can poke fun at that

00:42:53

is because our definition of followership

00:42:56

is actually really passive.

00:42:59

When we follow somebody, what we really mean

00:43:01

is that we cherry pick what we like,

00:43:03

we follow them from a distance,

00:43:05

and we sift out what we don't.

00:43:07

It means that we save a bunch of recipe videos

00:43:09

that we're never going to do.

00:43:11

We do a bunch of workout challenges that, man,

00:43:14

maybe next time is when I'm going to get on

00:43:16

that 30 day calisthenics. I know I can do it.

00:43:18

That's what we do. It means we follow from a distance.

00:43:21

But apprenticeship is different. It's up close.

00:43:24

And this is what we see Elijah inviting Shay into his life.

00:43:28

He's saying, "Come do what I do. Come eat with me.

00:43:31

Come experience how God works through me.

00:43:34

Experience the highs and the lows and apprentice."

00:43:39

Which means that Elisha had to give up

00:43:41

a little bit of his authority.

00:43:44

But what's interesting about our version of followership,

00:43:48

although it's passive, it's still got

00:43:50

a little bit of power because it produces formation.

00:43:53

Whether or not we realize it or even want to,

00:43:57

all of us are being formed by what we do,

00:44:00

what we watch, what we see.

00:44:02

John Mark Comer says it like this:

00:44:04

If you are not being intentionally formed

00:44:07

by Jesus himself, then it's highly likely

00:44:11

that we are being unintentionally formed

00:44:13

by someone or something else.

00:44:17

See, we're all slotting ourselves under people,

00:44:21

even unconsciously.

00:44:22

We're all slotting our authority under someone else,

00:44:25

even if we don't really realize it.

00:44:28

Maybe you're in the back and you're like,

00:44:30

"Not me. I'm tough. I'm my own person. I'm an individual."

00:44:34

You're probably right, and you're the best of us.

00:44:37

But most of us, most of us -- That's not funny.

00:44:43

Most of us have this actual biological thing going on

00:44:47

in us where we were made to be formed.

00:44:49

When a baby comes out of its mother,

00:44:51

they slap that baby on the skin to skin,

00:44:53

whoever the mom is.

00:44:54

They slap the baby on the chest because

00:44:56

the baby is literally going to be formed by the mother.

00:45:00

Even in science,

00:45:01

we see this with the Pavlovian dog experiment.

00:45:04

The process that took place was a process of formation.

00:45:09

Right now, part of Israel's spiritual formation

00:45:12

is my recovering road rage.

00:45:15

Whenever he sees a car and hears a car go beep, beep,

00:45:18

he just goes, "Go."

00:45:21

And he does that because that's what I do. Yep.

00:45:25

Don't worry, I am working on it. I'm working on it.

00:45:27

But he's being formed, even if I don't want him

00:45:30

to be formed in that way, he is being formed.

00:45:33

And this is the story that we see with Elisha as well.

00:45:38

See, Shay was already in the farmer's field.

00:45:40

The Bible says that he had 12 yoke of oxen before him,

00:45:43

which means somebody was rich.

00:45:46

You don't just have 12 yoke of oxen.

00:45:47

So he was already on a successful path.

00:45:50

Whether it was his family that was rich

00:45:52

or he was working for somebody rich,

00:45:54

he was already being formed.

00:45:58

And that takes us to really this next,

00:46:00

my favorite part of this story,

00:46:02

because Elisha meets a little bit of resistance.

00:46:05

He has a human moment.

00:46:08

I had this exact same human moment with Flo

00:46:11

where I said, "Wait a minute,

00:46:12

what you're inviting me into might have some cost to it."

00:46:16

Elisha says, "Wait a second. Hold on.

00:46:18

What about my mama?

00:46:19

Let me go back and kiss my father."

00:46:22

And Elijah, he doesn't judge him.

00:46:24

He doesn't say that's a bad idea.

00:46:26

Instead, he actually goes, "Yeah, what have I done to you?"

00:46:30

Now you can read that scripture with

00:46:31

the tonal inflection like I just said it,

00:46:33

but instead we should read it with

00:46:35

what have I done to you?

00:46:38

Which means, "Yeah, bro, you need to count the cost."

00:46:41

Because this discipleship relationship,

00:46:44

inviting someone to challenge you and grow you,

00:46:47

inviting someone to help you get to your next step.

00:46:50

It will cost you.

00:46:52

Like any good thing, it costs something.

00:46:54

Because in this way, Elisha wasn't just going

00:46:57

to receive a bunch of information from Elijah.

00:47:01

He was going to receive transformation.

00:47:04

Discipleship is about transformation.

00:47:08

So whether you're interested in this relationship,

00:47:10

you got to know that it's going to cost you

00:47:12

maybe a night, it might cost you a couple of hours,

00:47:15

it might cost you a few dollars on a cup of coffee.

00:47:18

In my case, it cost me because one of the ladies

00:47:20

that I've stepped into discipleship with,

00:47:22

she likes Skyline, and it cost me

00:47:24

a little bit of my pride every time

00:47:26

I have to humble myself and eat Skyline.

00:47:29

Because I will eat Skyline for Jesus, whatever it takes,

00:47:32

whatever it takes for her to know Him.

00:47:34

But it cost you something.

00:47:37

Elijah's invitation is different.

00:47:41

And this is why I don't have any pictures with Flo,

00:47:44

because I was not ready to be transformed.

00:47:47

I was not ready for a life that would cost me

00:47:50

something to get to my next step.

00:47:52

The process of transformation is actually slow and messy,

00:47:56

and what I wanted was a quick high road to success.

00:48:00

And this common, this resistance of feeling like,

00:48:04

wait a minute, should I do this?

00:48:05

It's really common.

00:48:07

It's really normal to wonder if actually

00:48:09

entering into a close connection could yield growth.

00:48:14

But it is the pathway to growth.

00:48:16

And this is common, and we see it

00:48:18

even in a community member of our own.

00:48:21

We have a story of a guy named Nick in our own community

00:48:25

who had to ask himself these questions,

00:48:27

who himself had to count the cost

00:48:30

of what it would mean to give away some of his authority

00:48:33

and allow someone to speak into his life.

00:48:37

Here's Nick's story.

00:48:41

- I was coming home one day from work.

00:48:43

I was on my motorcycle. I had the green light.

00:48:46

A car pulled out. I tried to avoid him.

00:48:48

If he would have stopped,

00:48:49

I probably would have been all right,

00:48:50

but didn't and so I got ejected.

00:48:55

And no helmet, no jacket, no nothing,

00:48:58

going, I don't know, probably 40 or 50 mile an hour.

00:49:01

I ended up breaking my back, my hip, my pelvis,

00:49:06

my arm, my shoulders.

00:49:10

My name is Nick and I struggle with authority.

00:49:14

As a kid, I was molested as a, you know,

00:49:19

when I was, I don't know, 5 or 6.

00:49:21

And I feel like ever since then it was been like

00:49:25

nobody is going to tell me what to do.

00:49:27

I grew up going to church, was told,

00:49:32

as soon as you're old enough to not come anymore,

00:49:34

you don't have to.

00:49:35

And as soon as that was the case, I was gone.

00:49:38

I was looking for something,

00:49:40

but I wasn't sure what I was looking for.

00:49:42

Then I rode motorcycles.

00:49:44

So Rabbit Hash is where I would come and hang out.

00:49:47

I was always running into a group of bikers

00:49:51

that I would talk to, and ended up joining

00:49:56

a club called the Brothers Eight.

00:49:57

Ran around, did stuff with my brothers,

00:50:00

stuff that I'm not too proud of.

00:50:01

It wasn't a good, good thing.

00:50:03

Just running around, lost, you know.

00:50:04

I started prospecting for the Iron Horsemen.

00:50:08

I met one of my best friends, Dave.

00:50:11

Him and I were hanging out one night, and he was like,

00:50:13

"Going to meet up with this chick,

00:50:14

and she has some friends." So I was like, oh, cool.

00:50:16

And that's the night that I first met my wife, Megan.

00:50:19

As soon as I seen her, I was like,

00:50:21

"Yep, that's who I want to be with."

00:50:22

Asked her out on a date and she was asking me

00:50:24

questions about, you know, she knew

00:50:27

I was in the process of patching in.

00:50:29

She was like, "Well, like, what cost is it

00:50:31

to you and your family?"

00:50:33

We talked about like what she wanted out of

00:50:36

a marriage or of a man or whatever.

00:50:38

And it ended up being like someone that goes to church,

00:50:42

like in a leader of the family

00:50:44

and all the things that I want to be.

00:50:46

How am I supposed to go to church on Sunday

00:50:48

and be like a man of God

00:50:50

when I'm beating people up on Saturday?

00:50:53

Ultimately ended up leaving the club.

00:50:56

About that time I started going to church.

00:50:58

How I met Greg was Megan

00:51:00

was being mentored by his wife, Lynn.

00:51:04

I asked Greg if he would be my mentor

00:51:07

because I seen how him and his wife handled their marriage

00:51:12

and I want to model my marriage

00:51:14

after someone that's godly.

00:51:17

And then you get hit by a Mitsubishi.

00:51:19

I'm laying there and I'm breathing,

00:51:22

and I hear this little girl off to my right,

00:51:28

and she's praying for me.

00:51:29

And it just like it kicked into my mind like,

00:51:32

"Hey, man, you should be praying, you know?

00:51:35

Like, you should just be thanking God."

00:51:38

But I ultimately think that I needed that

00:51:42

to kind of set me down and say,

00:51:45

"Hey, listen, I'm in control."

00:51:48

- Short of how we were brought together at your wedding.

00:51:50

- Mhm.

00:51:52

- Our circles, I don't know if they would have

00:51:54

overlapped if it wasn't for our wives. Right?

00:51:57

- 100% can agree that would not have happened.

00:51:59

- Yeah. So this is all new ground for me, too.

00:52:02

If I would have gone to Crossroads

00:52:04

and I would have said, "Okay,

00:52:05

do you have a discipleship program?

00:52:07

I'm interested in discipling somebody."

00:52:08

One, I wouldn't have done it

00:52:09

because it would be really outside of my comfort zone,

00:52:12

but I probably would have wound up discipling

00:52:14

somebody a bunch like myself.

00:52:16

It's nothing I chose, but I know God's hand was in it.

00:52:19

I know He chose the right person,

00:52:21

and I'm just eternally grateful for it.

00:52:24

- So yeah, you got me this Bible

00:52:26

about two years ago now for my birthday.

00:52:29

- Yeah. - Kid you not.

00:52:30

I opened this up. I pulled the tab

00:52:33

and it's on Romans 7:7 and it says:

00:52:37

I do not understand what I do

00:52:39

for what I want to do I do not do,

00:52:43

but what I hate, I do.

00:52:44

And I'm like, that is like my whole life.

00:52:46

In my opinion, you need people like you.

00:52:51

You need to find a group.

00:52:52

You need to find, go to Man Camp.

00:52:54

You need some type of mentorship.

00:52:56

- I've seen the marriage. I've seen the babies.

00:52:58

I've seen the motorcycle accident.

00:52:59

I've seen you grow in faith.

00:53:01

Your rebellious attitude is definitely dissipating.

00:53:04

- Yeah, I couldn't even imagine

00:53:06

somebody telling me what to do

00:53:07

because that's just not -- it's not who I am.

00:53:09

And it's always been that way.

00:53:11

And now I'm noticing that it's not that way,

00:53:15

especially, you know, with you.

00:53:16

I'm shocked now that following

00:53:18

would ever make me feel as free as what I do.

00:53:22

- Somewhere down the road,

00:53:24

somebody's going to look at you

00:53:25

and they're going to look at you as an example,

00:53:27

and they're going to say,

00:53:28

"Not only did he speak his faith, he walked it."

00:53:31

- Mm.

00:53:34

- Yeah, I love Nick's story.

00:53:38

I love his story because it's so real.

00:53:41

And you know what? This thing works.

00:53:43

It proves that it works.

00:53:44

He's multiplying.

00:53:45

This past Sunday,

00:53:46

he just baptized someone for the first time.

00:53:49

This thing works.

00:53:52

I don't know why it's God's plan

00:53:54

to use imperfect people to grow

00:53:56

and expand His love, but it is.

00:53:59

And some call outs from that video.

00:54:00

I love that Greg is not a guru, he's just a guy.

00:54:03

He's just somebody that Nick saw somebody in

00:54:06

and said, "I think I want a little bit

00:54:08

of something like that."

00:54:09

I also love what he says because he says, "Yeah,

00:54:12

Nick, you're a rebellion has certainly dissipated."

00:54:15

You know, and that's, that's my story too,

00:54:18

is we are not perfect.

00:54:19

Discipleship is not some spiritual mentorship

00:54:22

that's going to make you perfect.

00:54:24

It's just going to make you look more like Jesus.

00:54:28

And I'll tell you what, the most thing that I love

00:54:30

is that they pointed out that it's uncomfortable at first.

00:54:34

It really is.

00:54:35

It takes a lot of guts to kind of raise your hand

00:54:38

and maybe think that you're open to this level of growth.

00:54:42

But I will tell you what, I'm just up here

00:54:43

telling you what I learned and what I've learned

00:54:46

is that if I want to cut off my impact,

00:54:48

if I want to cut off my ability to be a great mother

00:54:52

and a great wife, then I will cut off this relationship.

00:54:55

And I tell you why, because I can point

00:54:57

every single moment of growth in my life

00:55:00

to my discipleship relationships.

00:55:02

Without the women who have discipled me,

00:55:04

I would not still be married.

00:55:06

Without the women who have discipled me,

00:55:08

I would not be a faithful friend

00:55:10

and doing well in my leadership abilities.

00:55:12

Without the women that have discipled me,

00:55:15

I would not be on this stage sharing vulnerably with you

00:55:18

because that is just not who I was.

00:55:21

I can trace back every single moment of growth

00:55:26

back to the relationship of discipleship.

00:55:30

And what's funny is that it wasn't even

00:55:32

spiritual for me at first.

00:55:34

And at first, it might not be for you.

00:55:36

See, there was a leader that I liked and I went,

00:55:38

"Man, I really like how they lead.

00:55:39

I wonder if they would tell me how they lead,

00:55:41

because they have a lot on their shoulders

00:55:43

and they're crushing it."

00:55:44

And then it became, "Man, I really like

00:55:46

how this woman is a friend

00:55:48

and she seems really engaged with her family.

00:55:51

I want to be a friend like that someday.

00:55:52

I want to maybe have a family like that someday."

00:55:55

I didn't even want to be a mama when I met this lady.

00:55:59

And then I became spiritual.

00:56:01

It was a woman, and she seemed to be a woman of prayer.

00:56:03

And I felt that maybe God was impressing on me

00:56:07

that I needed to dig deeper into prayer.

00:56:09

And I just said, "Hey, will you meet with me

00:56:11

to talk about prayer?"

00:56:13

Now, all these photos that have been popping up

00:56:16

behind me the whole time that I'm speaking

00:56:18

are of men and women that truly mean something to me,

00:56:21

that have been a key part in my life.

00:56:23

But these next three women that I'm going to highlight

00:56:26

are three women who have been key to

00:56:28

my spiritual and deep formation.

00:56:31

These are the women that when I looked up

00:56:33

and realized who was proximate to me, they were around.

00:56:37

This first person is Paula.

00:56:39

See, I asked Paula and all of these ladies

00:56:42

to write a little bit about how we first met,

00:56:44

because I want to prove to you that this relationship

00:56:47

is not just perfect and up to the right.

00:56:50

It is a transformational, slow and messy process.

00:56:54

So here are some things that Paula said.

00:56:56

She said: When we first met, what I wanted to work on

00:56:59

with you was the most uncomfortable thing:

00:57:02

vulnerability, both personally and professionally.

00:57:06

It was a long time before you shared anything personal.

00:57:09

There were one on ones where

00:57:10

you would uncomfortably sit in the chair

00:57:12

and strategically dodge any personal questions.

00:57:15

That is true.

00:57:18

It wasn't that I wanted to know more about you,

00:57:21

although I did because I care about you,

00:57:23

or that I felt it was my job at a church

00:57:26

to get you to share,

00:57:28

although that does lead to spiritual maturity.

00:57:30

It was because I knew you had the potential

00:57:33

to be a world class leader,

00:57:35

and this could be the thing that held you back.

00:57:38

What a gift. What a gift from God

00:57:40

to put somebody in my life

00:57:42

to see something that I could not see.

00:57:46

I then remember asking a lady to sit down with me

00:57:50

and talk about prayer.

00:57:51

And this is Laura.

00:57:52

This is what Laura had to say.

00:57:54

We've known each other now for about 4 or 5 years.

00:57:57

Laura said: I felt like God had highlighted you

00:58:00

to me to be available.

00:58:02

Your first request was around prayer

00:58:04

and you asked if I would teach you more about

00:58:06

prayer, listening, and abiding.

00:58:08

I responded to your request without pushing any agendas,

00:58:11

and in the beginning, our relationship

00:58:13

felt like you needed lots of freedom

00:58:15

to come close and then pull away.

00:58:17

Perhaps you were testing if I would be

00:58:19

consistent with you, honor your story and privacy.

00:58:22

And then when you would ask me to step

00:58:25

into your life with encouragement or prayer, I did.

00:58:30

I love what Laura has to say because,

00:58:32

unbeknownst to me, God had actually

00:58:34

highlighted me to Laura.

00:58:37

God was inviting us both into some growth.

00:58:41

And so if that's you, if you have some capacity,

00:58:43

if you're going, "God, I want to be able

00:58:45

to live out the command that you say of making disciples."

00:58:50

Perhaps He wants to highlight somebody to you.

00:58:53

This last person is really important

00:58:55

because this is the one person that I remember

00:58:57

strategically saying, "Would you get coffee with me?"

00:59:01

Because I was looking at her life and going,

00:59:03

"There's something in there that I want."

00:59:05

This is Ashley, and Ashley has just been around

00:59:09

almost for more than a decade pouring into my life.

00:59:12

And this is what she had to say:

00:59:14

I think if I had to summarize who you are,

00:59:16

what I see from where we first started

00:59:19

to where you are now, there's just been a softening.

00:59:23

And when I think for a lot of women,

00:59:25

it's really hard to feel like you can be bold

00:59:27

and strong and a courageous leader, but remain soft.

00:59:31

And I've watched you go from how the world

00:59:33

set an expectation for confident leadership

00:59:36

into holy leadership, how the Lord has created you.

00:59:39

See, I love this because I went from

00:59:42

the girl who was just rejecting to be fully known,

00:59:46

rejecting coffee with Flo, saying,

00:59:48

"Girl, please leave me alone,"

00:59:50

to raising my hand saying, "Please get coffee with me

00:59:53

because I am ready to go to the next level in my life."

00:59:56

If your life is feeling stuck,

00:59:58

if you're feeling like you don't know the next step,

01:00:00

or maybe you want to even know

01:00:02

just a little bit more about Jesus,

01:00:04

I'm going to tell you right now,

01:00:05

your answer is not found in the next podcast.

01:00:08

It is not in the next group that you can get your hands on.

01:00:11

It might just be through this significant relationship

01:00:16

of discipleship, and it can take on many forms.

01:00:19

It can look like motherhood or fatherhood even.

01:00:21

It can even look like friendship.

01:00:23

But it's not just hanging out with beers.

01:00:25

It's inviting somebody to strategically

01:00:28

look at our life and challenge us and grow us.

01:00:33

What I love about discipleship is that

01:00:36

it's actually about multiplication.

01:00:38

See, because of those three women,

01:00:40

there have been multiple many more women in my life

01:00:43

that I've been able to disciple,

01:00:44

like Esme and Zoe and Lauren

01:00:47

and Ryan and Tongawe and Faith.

01:00:50

These are all amazing women who I've had

01:00:53

the privilege of seeing the highs

01:00:55

and the lows of their life, the first kids

01:00:58

and the marriages and the first boyfriends

01:01:00

and the first breakups. Been around for all of that.

01:01:04

And the best part is not that I get to pat myself

01:01:06

on the back because look at me, I'm doing great.

01:01:08

No, I get a front row seat to God expanding the Kingdom.

01:01:14

And there is no greater joy.

01:01:18

Now, I know I'm teaching and you guys are like,

01:01:20

"Great, Hannah, brunch is waiting. Come on now."

01:01:24

And maybe you're on the fence.

01:01:25

Maybe you're like, "I kind of got

01:01:28

some more capacity in my life.

01:01:29

And I do want to grow.

01:01:31

And maybe this could be the path to get there."

01:01:33

Or maybe you might be like, "I need someone

01:01:35

to show me the way in the next steps."

01:01:38

Regardless, there's going to be some objections.

01:01:40

So let me just squash those for you real quick.

01:01:43

The first objection might be, Hannah,

01:01:45

this sounds like multi-level marketing.

01:01:47

Well it is. It is.

01:01:49

I'm gonna just say that it is multi-level marketing.

01:01:51

The multi-level marketing got its idea from discipleship.

01:01:54

And multi-level marketing is about you.

01:01:57

This is all about the Kingdom, all about growing

01:02:00

and spreading and receiving God's love.

01:02:03

The next objection might be I'm too busy for that.

01:02:06

And you know what? You're right again.

01:02:08

We're all probably a little too busy

01:02:10

and I won't say get less busy.

01:02:12

What I will say is this will cost you something,

01:02:16

it might cost you swapping out something

01:02:18

to put in a relationship like this to grow.

01:02:22

And it will be worth it.

01:02:24

It has been worth it for me.

01:02:27

You might think, man, I don't have what it takes.

01:02:30

I don't either.

01:02:32

And the good news is that

01:02:33

we don't have to have what it takes.

01:02:35

We have Jesus, who, when He ascended to heaven,

01:02:38

left us with His Spirit and His Holy Spirit

01:02:41

is what gives us the ability to listen well,

01:02:44

to offer growth, to offer challenge, to express love.

01:02:49

The fourth one is my faith is individual. Thanks so much.

01:02:52

I used to think that too, until I look at

01:02:55

the life of Jesus and realized, actually

01:02:57

the way he expressed His faith was always communal.

01:03:01

Our faith was meant to be expressed

01:03:03

and lived in shared experiences.

01:03:07

And the final one is I'm too old for that.

01:03:10

Well, the good news is, if you feel too old,

01:03:12

your hair is still growing, your nails are still growing,

01:03:15

which means that you're still growing

01:03:16

and that there's room for growth.

01:03:19

And where there's room for growth, my invitation is

01:03:22

wherever you are, however you're experiencing

01:03:24

this service online or in one of our rooms,

01:03:27

is that you would welcome the growth.

01:03:31

So when Elijah was going through what he was going through,

01:03:34

God gave him a vision for his life,

01:03:36

but he also gave him some next steps.

01:03:38

So here's your next steps.

01:03:40

The first thing that you're going to do is ask.

01:03:43

Ask God to highlight the people who might be around you

01:03:46

because they already might be around you.

01:03:49

Ask Him to show you who might have a next step for you,

01:03:52

or who you can show the next step.

01:03:54

The next thing you're going to do is

01:03:56

admit that we all need help sometimes.

01:03:59

None of us have arrived by getting anywhere by ourselves.

01:04:03

The last thing that you're going to do

01:04:05

is accept this process of transformation

01:04:09

is slow and messy.

01:04:11

Right before Jesus ascends to heaven in Matthew 28,

01:04:14

where He gave that Great Commission,

01:04:16

right before He says that, He says to the disciples,

01:04:19

"Are you still doubting?" Because they were,

01:04:22

up until the very last second with Him

01:04:26

was He still forming them.

01:04:29

And this relationship is transformational.

01:04:32

Listen, I have not arrived,

01:04:34

and that is good news for me

01:04:36

because it means that we can still grow.

01:04:40

Maybe you feel like you haven't arrived.

01:04:42

Maybe you feel a little stuck and unsure of the next step.

01:04:45

I just wonder if I could offer to you

01:04:48

this unique, godly relationship

01:04:51

of spiritual mentorship, of discipleship.

01:04:54

Lots of ships in there.

01:04:56

This idea that God wants you to grow.

01:04:59

He doesn't just want us to stay where we are.

01:05:01

He wants to take us to the next step.

01:05:04

I guarantee future you will be glad you did.

01:05:07

Let me pray for us.

01:05:09

Thank you, Lord, for a unique space like Mother's Day,

01:05:12

where we get to hear about Your Word.

01:05:16

Discipleship is something that You have

01:05:18

for each and every one of us,

01:05:20

no matter our age or stage in life.

01:05:23

Would You highlight people to us?

01:05:25

Would You help us to step into uncomfortable spaces?

01:05:28

In the name of Jesus, Amen.

01:05:30

- Hey, no one can experience the fullness

01:05:32

of who God created them to be on their own.

01:05:34

It's what Hannah's been talking to about.

01:05:36

There are gifts that God wants to give us

01:05:38

that can only happen through the lives of others.

01:05:40

And the same is true for you

01:05:42

and the gift that your life could be to others.

01:05:44

We're here for it.

01:05:45

We'd love to pray for you and process with you

01:05:47

and make a next step,

01:05:49

so you can either do two things.

01:05:51

You can chat in at the website

01:05:53

or text "Anywhere" to 301301.

01:05:56

And we'd love to connect with you there.

01:05:58

Discipleship is all about following God

01:06:00

with small steps that over time, add up to huge growth.

01:06:04

So don't let the summer be the season

01:06:06

where your spiritual rhythms get derailed

01:06:08

before they even start.

01:06:09

It's one of the things that I love

01:06:11

about the Crossroads Anywhere app.

01:06:13

It's a tool that you can take with you,

01:06:14

where your church can literally go with you

01:06:17

wherever you go, and you can continue to grow.

01:06:19

You can rewatch messages, you can share them,

01:06:21

you can pray for people, you can receive prayer,

01:06:24

you can read the Bible and so much more.

01:06:26

But it's a way that your church

01:06:27

can be more than a Sunday thing.

01:06:29

It can be an all week long thing

01:06:31

and an all summer long thing.

01:06:32

So wherever your summer plans take,

01:06:34

you take the Crossroads Anywhere app

01:06:36

so you can continue to grow

01:06:38

in your own discipleship to Jesus.

01:06:40

Hey, one quick thing I want to just celebrate,

01:06:42

yesterday and this past week, we actually had

01:06:44

our Crossroads live events where we're hosting

01:06:46

live events in two cities, Detroit and Indianapolis.

01:06:49

And they were incredible.

01:06:51

It's this amazing thing where people connect,

01:06:53

where it's not just an event, but it's actually

01:06:55

sort of planting a seed to see community grow.

01:06:58

I've got lots of friends in Detroit and Indy.

01:07:01

Hey, thank you guys for helping pull that event off.

01:07:03

So excited to see what God does.

01:07:05

Hey, thanks for joining us.

01:07:06

We'll see you next week at Crossroads.

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