Killing Perfectionism

I recently stumbled across a NYT article that caught my eye. Written by a professional concert pianist, the author warned against a mindset ripping our society apart. Not partisan politics, or social media, or income inequality. The problem? Perfectionism.

Classically trained instrumentalists work for years to nail their craft by endless repetition and refinement of how their fingers move over their violin or piano, seeking to produce the perfect recreation of Bach or Beethoven.

They may master the notes, but they miss the heart of the maker. They practice and practice and practice, but for what? Very few classical performers ever try to create music of their own. Instead, they merely repeat what has already been written.

Why does that matter? The pianist says it best:

You cannot learn or grow while trying to appear as if you have everything figured out. You cannot talk to God by trying to avoid doing something wrong. Perfection is stagnation.

Perfection is stagnation. This is true across the board.

Five years ago, when I started my podcast, The Aggressive Life, the message was clear: go out and do something to change your life. We haven’t wavered from that message, for nearly 350 episodes, because it still rings true. The power is in movement, in trying something new, in taking a risk—even if, or especially if, not everything goes according to plan.

How many Christmas movies can you name where the main character is chasing a perfect holiday, only to find that the magic isn’t in the Norman Rockwell family dinner or the Hallmark love story?

It is a common trope in filmmaking because it rings true. If you look at Christmastime alone, a recent study by the American Psychological Association found that as many as 89% of Americans feel stressed by the holiday season. Among the top five reasons for that stress is the need to make the holidays extra special.

Our pursuit of perfection isn’t confined to “the most wonderful time of the year.” As we turn the page on this year, and head into 2026, plenty of Christians will jump into plans to read more scripture, pray more frequently, and increase their spiritual discipline rate. That’s all well and good, and necessary for spiritual growth. But if we only study, or recite rote prayers from memory, or mimic the best practices we see from pastors and influencers, our spiritual potency won’t increase.

Most of us are too afraid of failure to actually write a unique script for our lives. Not making a mistake while performing sheet music is not the same as writing your own piece of music. Not making spiritual mistakes is not the same as being spiritually vibrant. Hitting spiritual disciplines is not the same as doing “greater things” than Jesus, an expectation He set for us (John 14:12).

Theologian and writer, G.K. Chesterton, once famously quipped, “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from making the moves that will change your life. Nearly everything of potency in my own life has come on the other side of failure and the hard work that follows.

At Crossroads, the church I helped start and still lead, we had the idea to create an original Christmas production. Originally called “Imagine,” you can’t imagine how awful it was. It tanked in the worst-way possible. It was far from perfect. We went back to the drawing board and created something new, “Awaited,” which 125,000 people saw in its final year of performance.

We took the least-attended weekend of the year, Super Bowl, and melded it with a football-themed church experience that routinely reaches 40,000 people each year. The religious perfectionists and bloggers can’t handle the cacophony of tailgating, original commercials, and preaching. It routinely gets us the largest amount of hatemail, but also reaches more people than anything else we do.

We wanted to get people in nature and off-the-grid to connect with God and others around a campfire. The church purists lament that beer is served, and the camping pursuits complain that we let people drive their gear in. Turns out, a weekend in the woods is exactly what 50,000 people needed last year to connect with God and push their lives forward.

My own entry point into the outdoors happened because I wanted to take a trip with my son but couldn’t afford to put us up in hotel rooms. We got a cheap tent and the rest is history. Our early outings were embarrassingly bad, but we kept going. I know enough now to be able to live off the grid for weeks.

I could go on and on. No one is ever ready for marriage, or kids, or a job change. The opportunity is never right to start working out, to begin building savings, or resolving the long-standing conflict. There’s never a perfect window to start a new friendship, begin a life-giving hobby, or use up all your PTO at work. But you should do it anyway.

I believe and honor the Bible, but merely studying it more in 2026 won’t change your life. You have to do what it says. Arguably, Jesus’ most impactful disciple, Peter, is the one that also made the most mistakes. That’s not by accident.

Interestingly, in the NYT article, the author mentions “talking to God” as an example of where being boldly imperfect can lead to breakthroughs. How many people’s prayer lives are lifeless and sterile because they merely recite the prayers they already know, aiming to get the words perfect but missing the heart of connecting with a God who wants to hear from us? Instead, in the scriptures, David lets out a flurry of emotions toward God—joy, anger, fear, frustration, despair, gratitude, and lamentation. His vulnerability earned him a God-given nickname: a man after God’s own heart.

When society fears making mistakes, inaction isn’t merely encouraged, it’s praised. If you want something different, you will always have to do something different. That might mean falling on your face. To gain a life of potency, you have to make peace with failure. It is part of the path to potency.

It is time to put perfection to death. You cannot grow, change, or encounter God with that as your target for it only fosters fear of not doing it right. Find your next move, and make it. If you wait for perfect, you’ll never get off the bench.

The Five Marks of a Man Devotional is 60 days of scripture, teaching, and prayer to get you moving. Check it out for a last minute gift idea, now 38% off on Amazon.

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