The Bible isn’t a rulebook or a “how-to guide” to living the most transcendent life. It’s a story. And in that story, there are plenty of fathers. Some are incredible…and some are…well…not.
Dads come in all shapes and sizes. The helpful news? You don’t have to be perfect to be a world-changer. That’s clear from the good, bad, and ugly dads of the Bible. And if it makes you feel better, if you haven’t sacrificed your firstborn son to a pagan god or ignored that your kids were having sexy time in the Israeli temple, you’re already better than half the guys on this list.
Here is a (not-so-definitive, and a bit tongue-in-cheek) ranking of ten fathers in the Bible, starting at the bottom and going up from there. There are a lot of dads left out, and those included are primarily due to how well-known they are. If this were a fantasy sports draft, I’d suggest looking toward the bottom of the list to build your team. The guys at the top are…well…iffy.
Ready? Slip on your New Balance sneakers, fire up the ‘03 Toyota Sienna, and let’s hit the road to find the ingredients for good fathers, not-so-good ones, and the ultimate Father we can model our lives after.
Ranking Fathers in the Bible
10) Manasseh
Bio: One of the last kings of Judah. His father, Hezekiah, reversed a decades-long trend toward worshipping false idols and leaving God in the dust. He himself, though…well, that’s a different story.
Pros: Ummm. Yeah, there’s really nothing.
Cons: Worked hard to reverse the revival his father started. He re-erected monuments to false gods, converted God’s temple into a place to worship the stars, sought the help of mediums, ignored the prophets, sacrificed his own children to the false god Molech, and “shed so much innocent blood he filled Jerusalem from end-to-end”. So, yeah, not a guy you’d buy a tie for on Father’s Day.
9) Lot
Bio: The nephew of Abraham, who chose to move his family into the capital of sin in the ancient world: Vegas Sodom. When God warned him that destruction was coming, Lot fled with his daughters and wife. His spouse was salty about it. (Get it? Salty? That’s a Bible joke).
Pros: After decades of passivity living in Sodom, Lot finally woke up enough to get his family out of dodge at the very last minute. He tried to warn his sons-in-law that destruction was coming—they didn’t listen.
Cons: After fleeing Sodom, Lot and his two daughters settled in a cave. Their lives were filled with fear and distrust in the Lord, which led to a series of dishonorable actions. I won’t go into the details, but I can tell you that Father’s Day must’ve been a whole lot more awkward afterward.
8) David
Bio: King of Israel for 40 years, son of Jesse, father of…lots of children. Brought all of the tribes of Israel together under one reign, slayed the giant Goliath, killed bears with his, uh, bare hands, and set the standard of how to be a warrior-king.
Pros: When his first child fell sick, he prayed and fasted that he would live. Commissioned and blessed his son, Solomon, to be king in his place.
Cons: Despite his countless victories in battle and being dubbed by the Lord himself as “a man after God’s own heart”, David’s home life was often in shambles. He let many abominable sins of his children go undisciplined, conceived a child out of adultery, and seemed to have spent little to no time raising any of his 21 offspring. David killed his 9-5 job, but failed in the confines of his own house.
7) Eli
Bio: A high priest in the Old Testament, father of Hophni and Phinehas.
Pros: Mentored Samuel—a young man who became a faithful prophet to God.
Cons: Eli turned a blind eye as his sons took advantage of their power by taking the best meat from sacrifices and committing sexual sin in the tabernacle. Not a great place to put a shag carpet, am I right?
6) Nameless Dad
Bio: Not actually nameless, but we don’t know his name. So let’s call him “Stan the Man”. Had a demon-possessed son and asked Jesus to heal him.
Pros: This guy struggled in his faith, but for some reason, he recognized Jesus as a being that could provide supernatural healing. Asking took humility and bold admittance that he couldn’t fix things on his own. When it came to loving his son, he’d stop at nothing to get help (the rabies excuse was getting old).
Cons: We don’t know what happened after the healing. Did he follow Jesus the rest of his days, or was Jesus just a means to an end? Even with all these questions, Jesus healed his son. He’s good like that.
5) Joseph
Bio: Father of Jesus and wonderful carpenter…or maybe a stone mason. The verdict is still out.
Pros: A humble, regular dude who got asked to become the adoptive father to the Son of God (not a light task). He showed incredible faith—marrying a woman who got pregnant out of wedlock and claiming it was conceived by the Spirit. It wasn’t a good look culturally, and could have gotten Mary killed, but Joseph remained faithful anyway.
Cons: Died. (Honestly, we don’t know much else about him to be able to list his flaws.) Scholars believe Joseph likely passed when Jesus was a teenager since he wasn’t with Mary at the crucifixion, but he also could have abandoned the family. We don’t know. Oh, he also accidentally forgot adolescent Jesus in Jerusalem once…but what parent hasn’t miscounted kids when piling into the minivan on a family trip?
4) Abraham
Bio: Patriarch of the faith and father of God’s chosen people. Promised by God that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars. Father Abraham had many sons, and many sons had Father Abraham (try singing that line, it sounds better that way).
Pros: Extremely faithful to God. Cared deeply about the impact his children would have on the world for generations to come.
Cons: Extremely faithful to God. It probably took Isaac some time to get over the whole attempted sacrifice thing, but I like to think Isaac chose to forgive his dad once he understood God’s role in it. Also chose to sleep with the family maid when his wife couldn’t conceive, rather than asking God to bless them with a child. That was one way to go about infertility, and it wasn’t good (and also feels like the plot of a cheesy 2000s rom-com).
3) Mordecai / Boaz:
Bio: Two of the Old Testament’s biggest studs. Mordecai lived during the time of the Babylonian Exile, acting as a father to his niece, Esther, and guiding her to save the Jews from genocide. Boaz, some 600 years earlier, made a point to take care of foreigners living near his farm during a famine. He ended up marrying the young widow, Ruth, and became the great-grandfather of a giant killer (see #8).
Pros: These dudes put the “P” in “protector” and “provider.” They took care of their families, met the needs of others, and lived as examples of faithfulness to their entire communities. Right about now, I’m thinking they should be higher on this list. Absolute units.
Cons: Boaz falls asleep in weird places, and doesn’t cover his feet (you monster!). Mordecai’s conflict with evil dude, Haman, nearly led to a national genocide…but I can look past it. Haman really sucked, I wouldn’t bow to him either.
2) Jacob
Bio: Son of Isaac and Rebekah. Father of a dozen sons and one daughter. Wrestled with God (in the flesh?) and thus was given the divine name of “Israel”. Also, a stealer of birthrights and manipulator of elderly folks who suffer from macular degeneration.
Pros: The spiritual and physical father of the 12 tribes of Israel. Reconciled with an estranged brother. Provided a lasting legacy of faithfulness to God for his family and the nation of Israel to follow.
Cons: Had 12 sons, but played favorites and only really loved one of them, possibly as a result of his father doing the same to him and his brother. Had multiple wives who were constantly in turmoil. Real-life example of “dysfunction junction.”
1) God
Bio: Big main character energy. The Bible’s all about Him. He’s a good, good Father (But feel free to call him, “Daddy”.)
Pros: Every earthly father pales in comparison to this One. He’s the very definition of love and faithfulness. In all the ways we’ve messed up, He’s got grace and a plan to call us sons and daughters. Even better, He wants to guide broken people (like you and me) to take on his role and be the best fathers we can. He’s like the OG Star Wars Trilogy— absolutely perfect.
Cons: Cares too much, works too hard. (Not really—He’s just perfect.)
Fathers the Bible and Beyond
Even the best of fathers in the Bible have their fair share of baggage and failures to note. While we are often no better than them, and sometimes even worse, the point is that God longs to be our one, true father. He will never fail us and gives us the blueprint of parenting in ways that bring about life, joy, and growth to our homes.
Will we allow ourselves to be fathered by God? Will we pass along that same love He offers to those around us? No matter who we are a father to or aren’t a father to, no matter who our father is, isn’t, or never was—we can always stay close to the dad who will never leave or forsake us.
That’s a familial relationship always worth pursuing.
Disclaimer: This article is 100% human-generated.
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